THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER PODCAST
Self Isolation as a Single Mum
March 23, 2020
THE PERFECT MOTHER MYTH; THE SOCIAL CONSTRUCT OF MOTHERHOOD; THE INSTITUTION OF MOTHERHOOD; THE SOCIOLOGY OF MOTHERHOOD; EMPOWERED MOTHERING; LIBERATED MOTHERHOOD
In putting together this week’s podcast I reflected on the extent to which our lives and the information that surrounds us at the moment is shaped by this worldwide pandemic. It almost seems as though anything worth discussing needs to relate to the context of the virus. But then I am also mindful of the type of fatigue that we are likely to experience in terms of information overload and feeling like we’re being saturated. With these two aspects in mind, this week I’m sharing what my experience of what self-isolation has been like in mothering my 2 year old without any available social support. I know this is or will be the position of many and so I felt it may be useful to share my experience as an ‘ordinary’ albeit privileged person, within our current context. Sometimes it can feel we’re lost within a sea of statistics and predictions, and it’s through individual stories that we can find anchoring and connection. I hope as a listener you are well and are weathering this storm and holding onto hope.
What is the perfect mother myth?
Selfless, sacrificial, organized, structured, heterosexual, monogamous, white, middle class, able-bodied, endlessly playful with her children with planned activities, productive, ‘maternal’, creative, is ‘beautiful’ according to a white/capitalist/ageist ideal of what beauty means, she is a great cook, dedicated to mothering 24/7, productive. What else??
The perfect mother is
‘It all’. Framed as a perfect career,marriage/relationship, 2.5 children of both sexes, ‘well-behaved’ and compliant children, money, the ‘bounced back’ body, screen-free households, a perfect, clean/tidy/organized home. What else??
The perfect mother has
the perfect mother always feels
Endless happiness, like she’s cherishing every minute, maternal bliss, grateful, patient, loving,fulfilled, satisfied, content, composed, balanced, present, energized, giving. What else??
the perfect mother never feels
Apathy, frustration, impatience, anger, envy, regret, resentment, boredom, longing for life pre-motherhood, loneliness. What else??
Listen up.
I hope as a listener you are well and are weathering this storm and holding onto hope.
The ‘Fish Tank’ of Motherhood Model™
A model offering a one-of-a-kind sociological approach for understanding Motherhood
Professor Andrea O’Reilly’s 8 ‘rules’ of good motherhood (Mother Outlaws)
1. Children can only be properly cared for by the bio mother
2. This mothering must be provided 24/7
3. The mother must always put her children’s needs before her own
4. Mothers must turn to the experts for instruction
5. The mother must be fully satisfied, fulfilled, completed and composed in motherhood
6. The mother must lavish excessive amounts of time energy and money on the rearing of their children
7. The mother has full responsibility but no power from which to mother
8. Motherhood and childrearing are regarded as personal and private undertakings with no political import