THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER PODCAST
The Over-Treated yet Under-Recognised Problem with Maternal Mental Health
January 20, 2020
THE PERFECT MOTHER MYTH; THE SOCIAL CONSTRUCT OF MOTHERHOOD; THE INSTITUTION OF MOTHERHOOD; THE SOCIOLOGY OF MOTHERHOOD; EMPOWERED MOTHERING; LIBERATED MOTHERHOOD
This episode contributes to the conversation on maternal mental health – specifically postpartum depression and anxiety - reframing the disorders (at their epidemic levels). I draw on research to suggest these disorders can be understood not necessarily an individual problem that is growing, but as a symptom of a social problem.
I explain the role that culture has to play in triggering or exacerbating maternal mental health conditions. I explore the various contributing factors to maternal mental health struggles including biological - hormonal, relational, socioeconomic, and cultural – as well as the way systems such as our maternity care system contribute to the epidemic. In doing so, I reveal some shocking correlations that you may have never heard of before, as well as share my own mental health challenges as a mother.
As a way forward, I introduce the concepts of ‘the postnatal depletion cure’ as well as ‘matrescence’ to give us a language and more diverse options for navigating and transforming maternal mental health struggles. Ultimately, I hope this episode makes visible part of the picture that still remains largely hidden, as I believe without this recognition we cannot create enduring and meaningful change to transform mothers’ lives.
What is the perfect mother myth?
Selfless, sacrificial, organized, structured, heterosexual, monogamous, white, middle class, able-bodied, endlessly playful with her children with planned activities, productive, ‘maternal’, creative, is ‘beautiful’ according to a white/capitalist/ageist ideal of what beauty means, she is a great cook, dedicated to mothering 24/7, productive. What else??
The perfect mother is
‘It all’. Framed as a perfect career,marriage/relationship, 2.5 children of both sexes, ‘well-behaved’ and compliant children, money, the ‘bounced back’ body, screen-free households, a perfect, clean/tidy/organized home. What else??
The perfect mother has
the perfect mother always feels
Endless happiness, like she’s cherishing every minute, maternal bliss, grateful, patient, loving,fulfilled, satisfied, content, composed, balanced, present, energized, giving. What else??
the perfect mother never feels
Apathy, frustration, impatience, anger, envy, regret, resentment, boredom, longing for life pre-motherhood, loneliness. What else??
Listen up.
PANDA for Aus support: 1300 726 306.
MIND for UK support: 0300 123 3393.
Mental Health America for US support: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
The ‘Fish Tank’ of Motherhood Model™
A model offering a one-of-a-kind sociological approach for understanding Motherhood
Professor Andrea O’Reilly’s 8 ‘rules’ of good motherhood (Mother Outlaws)
1. Children can only be properly cared for by the bio mother
2. This mothering must be provided 24/7
3. The mother must always put her children’s needs before her own
4. Mothers must turn to the experts for instruction
5. The mother must be fully satisfied, fulfilled, completed and composed in motherhood
6. The mother must lavish excessive amounts of time energy and money on the rearing of their children
7. The mother has full responsibility but no power from which to mother
8. Motherhood and childrearing are regarded as personal and private undertakings with no political import