THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER PODCAST
Contraction & Expansion: In Life and Motherhood
November 10, 2019
THE PERFECT MOTHER MYTH; THE SOCIAL CONSTRUCT OF MOTHERHOOD; THE INSTITUTION OF MOTHERHOOD; THE SOCIOLOGY OF MOTHERHOOD; EMPOWERED MOTHERING; LIBERATED MOTHERHOOD
This episode uses the motif of contraction and expansion to show how all of our lives mirror this process and cycle of challenge and growth. I connect the threads of birth, new life, childhood, major life transitions, old age, death, and grief. In doing so, we delve deeper into the role that contraction has to play in our lives – including through emotions such as anxiety and stress – and I offer you an exercise to demonstrate this relationship. This process invites greater introspection and self-awareness about how challenge can be a catalyst for transformation.
As an example, I point to the transition to motherhood and the question mothers wrestle with about ‘going back to work’ and how they see themselves and their identities as tied to their occupations.
I look at the process of ageing and how the ways we treat our elderly highlight the discomfort we actually have with transformational growth. I also share a personal story of my own state of grief to give you insight into the lessons our bodies have for us if we tune in.
What is the perfect mother myth?
Selfless, sacrificial, organized, structured, heterosexual, monogamous, white, middle class, able-bodied, endlessly playful with her children with planned activities, productive, ‘maternal’, creative, is ‘beautiful’ according to a white/capitalist/ageist ideal of what beauty means, she is a great cook, dedicated to mothering 24/7, productive. What else??
The perfect mother is
‘It all’. Framed as a perfect career,marriage/relationship, 2.5 children of both sexes, ‘well-behaved’ and compliant children, money, the ‘bounced back’ body, screen-free households, a perfect, clean/tidy/organized home. What else??
The perfect mother has
the perfect mother always feels
Endless happiness, like she’s cherishing every minute, maternal bliss, grateful, patient, loving,fulfilled, satisfied, content, composed, balanced, present, energized, giving. What else??
the perfect mother never feels
Apathy, frustration, impatience, anger, envy, regret, resentment, boredom, longing for life pre-motherhood, loneliness. What else??
Listen on Apple Podcast
Listen on Apple Podcast
The ‘Fish Tank’ of Motherhood Model™
A model offering a one-of-a-kind sociological approach for understanding Motherhood
Professor Andrea O’Reilly’s 8 ‘rules’ of good motherhood (Mother Outlaws)
1. Children can only be properly cared for by the bio mother
2. This mothering must be provided 24/7
3. The mother must always put her children’s needs before her own
4. Mothers must turn to the experts for instruction
5. The mother must be fully satisfied, fulfilled, completed and composed in motherhood
6. The mother must lavish excessive amounts of time energy and money on the rearing of their children
7. The mother has full responsibility but no power from which to mother
8. Motherhood and childrearing are regarded as personal and private undertakings with no political import