THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER PODCAST
Time to Fly': On Grieving, Mothering, and Loving Again
July 17, 2020
MOTHERHOOD JOURNEY, MOTHERHOOD TRANSITION, IDENTITY DEATH, SELF-COMPASSION, GRIEVING
with mother, author, speaker, volunteer, board member Eileen Robertson Hamra
This is a conversation with Eileen Robertson Hamra about her memoir ‘Time to Fly: Life and Love after Loss’ – a story of resilience, grief, and love, told with raw honesty and deep vulnerability. In December 2011 Eileen and Brian Robertson and their three young children were preparing for Christmas celebrations together, when Brian was tragically killed in an airplane crash. Ripping their world apart, Eileen says “waves of grief start immediately, and when the first wave hit, it knocked me over. I still cannot imagine more pain. In the first hours and days following the worst news of my life, my human body worked in mysterious ways to protect my soul”.
As a mother, woman, and wife, Eileen forged a path forward in her life for both herself and her children that honoured Brian’s life and continued his legacy, while living with a deep and renewed sense of purpose. She says “the transformation of pain and the self is not a burning or turning away – the goal is not to deny or destroy our sadness or our past. We cannot grow only by leaning into joy.”
In the episode we talk about this journeying, reflecting on the nature of grief and the ongoing process of grieving. Eileen shares with us how she opened herself up to finding love again, and what it was like to begin a new relationship with her now husband, Mike. She talks about the complexities of supporting her children through both the loss of their father, and integrating into their new family unit, as well as the incredible journey of having a baby with Mike, giving birth to her fourth child at age 46.
This is a conversation about grief, loss, transformation, love, lack of control, surrender, mothering, legacy, and life purpose, for anyone who believes in the power of hope and resilience
“Most of the time, life does not feel like a fairy tale. We allow the extraordinary to become ordinary to the extent that some days it is impossible to recognize what we do have.”
— Eileen in her book Time to Fly: Life and Love After Loss
MEeT Eileen
Eileen Robertson Hamra is the woman you meet—at the gym, in the coffee shop, or dropping off the kids at school—with a story that draws you in the minute she begins to tell it. At age forty-one, after losing her husband in a plane crash, she became a single mother to three children aged eight, seven and four. Overnight, the man she thought she would spend eternity with, the literal pilot of her family’s wonderful life, was gone. When everything seemed broken, the future she dreamed about now impossible, Eileen had to make choices she never imagined making.
What she did choose to do was peel herself out of bed those first few weeks of mourning, and with constant love and support from family and friends, she found a well of inner strength and she dipped down into it. Working through her own grief and the grief of her children, Eileen experienced a gradual spiritual awakening. The result? On the other side of tragedy, she found new love, gave birth to a miracle child, and rediscovered her calling: to build stronger, loving and ever evolving families.
connect with Eileen
You can find Kat on her Instagram: @eileenrhamra and turn on post notifications if you want to keep up with everything she shares.