THE GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER PODCAST

Episode 102 Using Compassion to Navigate Challenges in Motherhood with Zoe Blaskey The Good Enough Mother Podcast with Dr Sophie Brock.png

Using Compassion to Navigate

Challenges in Motherhood

October 5th, 2023

COMPASSION, IDENTITY, PURPOSE, MOTHERHOOD, MOTHERKIND, PODCASTS, INNER CRITIC, INNER VOICE, SELF CARE, MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH

with founder of Motherkind and host of The Motherkind Podcast Zoe Blaskey

In this episode I am joined by Zoe Blaskey, founder of Motherkind and host of The Motherkind Podcast. Zoe is a transformational coach and a mother of two who knows firsthand the complexities of modern motherhood. Her journey into motherhood inspired her to create the Motherkind movement and podcast, where she shares wisdom from world-leading experts on topics ranging from self-care and mental health to career, nutrition, and parenting.

Zoe and I dive deep into the intricacies of motherhood. Zoe shares her personal journey and the challenges she faced as a new mother, including feelings of guilt, anxiety, and the ever-present sense of not feeling 'good enough.' We explore how the journey for parenting knowledge can sometimes lead to self-critique and the complexities that arise when we’re told to just ‘listen to our inner voice’. Zoe's insights shed light on the empowering, yet sometimes overwhelming, abundance of information available to mothers. We talk about how to come to a place where you can feel empowered and equipped, without feeling overwhelmed.

Listen in to hear insights from Zoe's journey in creating a world-leading podcast and platform on Motherhood, and how to bring more compassion into your daily lived experience as a mother.

  • …it's like a bungee rope. So I can think I am going to value myself enough to rest before the school pick up, but that bungee rope of that old belief: ‘no, the dishes are dirty in the sink, and you haven't taken the laundry load out of the washing machine yet and it's going to smell’, you know, that bungee jumping back to that old programming… it is really strong.

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

  • But every time I get one of those thoughts, I just choose to use it as fuel to show myself wow, these are really deep in me, these beliefs run really deep in me, that's why I need to override them with a new belief, which is: I deserve rest… I'm so much more going to be able to be the mother that I want to be if I lie down on the sofa for five minutes.

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

  • So I actually choose to see that old programming and thinking as evidence of why I need to break it, not as a reason to go back to it. And of course, I do that really imperfectly. Sometimes I do get up and push myself and get all the jobs done. And I do that when thing ‘when I've done all the jobs, then I'll let myself rest’, I fall back into that all the time.

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

  • That's okay, I don't have to do it perfectly. That's not the aim at all. The aim is that I give myself a choice. Whereas I think before in early motherhood, I felt very choiceless. I was just running on this kind of autopilot of all these absorbed ideas.

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

  • The ‘shoulds syndrome’ is what I call it all these shoulds of what I should be doing as a mother… mothers should do everything for their children, mothers shouldn't focus on themselves, mothers should do all the work around the house, you know, mothers should work, mothers shouldn't work… all these shoulds that we put on ourselves.

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

  • And I think, you know, I didn't have a choice about that, because I hadn't examined it, - you use that word reflection - I hadn't done any reflection, I hadn't examined it. So of course, I was just running those beliefs. But now I've got that level of choice.

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

  • Because I've examined, it doesn't mean that I'm always going to take the right turn in the road. Sometimes I go left, and I might get a little bit burnt out again. And that's again, just a reminder… We can use challenges that we have as loving reminders. Okay, I cannot push myself in this way, and not burn out or feel angry or triggered or exhausted or depleted. I have to give myself that choice now.”

    — Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

Blaskey

Meet zoe

Zoe Blaskey is a transformational coach and the founder of Motherkind. Through Motherkind Zoe coaches mothers of all backgrounds from CEO's to full time mums on how to navigate the huge challenges of modern motherhood with more clarity, confidence and connection.  


Zoe hosts The Motherkind Podcast which is one of the UK's top family podcasts and speaks every week to world leading experts on a range of topics from self care, mental health, career, nutrition and parenting. To date the podcast has been downloaded over 3 million times. Past guests include Dr Becky Kennedy, Glennon Doyle, Dr Gabor Mate and Dr Rangan Chatterjee.  


Zoe has been featured in Red, The Times, Psychologies, Goop, SheerLuxe and the Evening Standard. The Telegraph celebrated the podcast as 'the antidote to the toxic perfectionism of modern motherhood'. Zoe was personally asked by Arianna Huffington to write on modern motherhood for her global wellbeing platform, Thrive. Zoe has two daughters, and lives with her husband Guy in Dorset.



— Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

“.. without a doubt, we are creating a foundation for far better mental health, I think, for generations in the future. It's also a huge pressure, to have that information about how important it is, but not have the support systems to actually be able to put a lot of it in place.”

— Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock,

Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

What are the 1%? What is a 1% that I could do today, or this week, that would move me in a tiny, tiny bit in the right direction. And there's a book called Atomic Habits… and he talks in there about when a plane changes direction just 1% it ends up in a completely different destination. And I think that is such an important skill that we have to learn to develop, is yes, we might want to do all these things differently. Yes, we might have read all these books. Yes, we might be completely fired up. 

But we are also still living in a system that doesn't serve as we are also, as many of us just trying to survive, trying to get through the day trying to get tea on the table, trying to get the kids in bed, trying to get to work, stay on top of the mental load. We can't add to that pressure. But it doesn't mean that we just give up and go - it's too hard. The 1% is the key tool that's going to hold both those things.

THE MOTHERKIND PODCAST

THE MOTHERKIND PODCAST

THE MOTHERKIND PODCAST

Motherhood is incredible. It's also incredibly challenging, especially with the high pressured, fast paced world we live in today. The Motherkind Podcast hosted by Motherkind founder and coach Zoe Blaskey, is on a mission to bring you some of the best wellbeing teachers in the world to help you find your calm, happy place in the madness of modern mum life. Each episode features a different teacher from the world of self-development and wellbeing or a mum on a path of self-enquiry. We cover everything from how to stay calm in a toddler meltdown, to dealing with anxiety, to self care and simple tools to help you have a better day.

Listen on apple podcast.

“The thing to remember is that we are mothering in a completely different environment than even a generation ago. And to use that fact, to give yourself compassion. And if you struggle to give yourself compassion, that's okay, too. That's a skill that you need to learn. You know, I've got hundreds of episodes on that one skill alone, because I had to myself… we have to learn that skill of giving ourselves a break.” 

— Zoe Blaskey in conversation with Sophie Brock, Ep #102 The Good Enough Mother Podcast

connect with ZOE

Website - Motherkind

Instagram - @zoeblaskey

Podcast: The Motherkind Podcast